Family...Together We Have It All

Christmas

2011-12-30T23:56:00.000-08:00

We had a wonderful Christmas this year. My mom came over early to watch Abby open her gifts and Abby loved having her here. This was our second Christmas without my Dad and we all missed him more then ever. Abigail and I picked two names off the angle tree this year and spent the money on twin girls that we would have spent on my dad. This will be a tradition now. Abigail had a great time picking out a few toys and clothes for them. Christmas morning we woke Abby up so that she would have enough time to open her gifts and we would have a few to relax before heading to Don's parents house. I filmed everything so we don't have tons of pictures this year.

Our new camping chairs!

She was so EXCITED to get Dumbo!

I got the Nook Tablet and some $$ to go clothes shopping.

Dad's new toys for the thousands of tools he has. Abby picked out the sign for him.

Joe's Valley 2011

2011-11-15T21:41:00.000-08:00

Our annual canyon dance and Joe's Valley trip.

Yes I am posting this late but better late then never.

Don, Abigail and I went to the annual Canyon Dance in Ophir and then headed up to our little piece of Heaven. We had 11 days of no work, no worries, and most importantly time with each other.

Here are some pictures of Ophir at the canyon dance. Abby got a BIG surprise....

Her first BIG girl bike!

Bouncing away

She loves to swing

Abigail won some stickers. A few minutes after getting in the trailer it became quiet and there she was putting the whole page of stickers on her face! So cute!

Heaven....A.K.A. Joe's

I have been going to Joe's since I was born and Don has been coming up here since 1996. This is the place we run to when we need to leave it all behind.

Sweet Abigail

Abby and her best Friend

Miss pout pout

And so we learned we can't keep him out of the water. At one point he tried to swim across the lake.

Abigail fishing with dad

Something is on her pole.....

Her very first fish!

So proud

See ya next year....

Halloween

2011-11-04T22:32:00.000-07:00

We had a great Halloween this year. Camille, Abigail, and I went to This Is The Place State Park for some trick or treating and fun. Abigail of course loved riding the horses and the train. Abigail figured out what it is all about! She went with her cousin Camille and her friend Lincoln. After dinner we started Trick or Treating and she was so excited! She ran from house to house screaming trick or treat. Don and I had to constantly remind her to slow down and watch where she was going. Luckily we brought along a few extra sacks because hers was just to heavy a few times. We also hauled her wagon too thinking we may need it. Which we did! By the end of the night she was pooped. She was in her wagon slumped over dragging her bucket of treats. I wish I would of gotten a picture of that!

*Abby and her Dad carving pumpkins*

Abby picked out her own costume.... Triceratops. She is really into Dinosaurs right now.

She was very proud that she had a tail!

Camille and Abigail on the train.

At the petting Zoo

Listening to the witch tell scary stories!

We had a great Halloween!

Summer fun

2011-10-25T20:54:00.000-07:00

Summer Fun

We enjoyed going to Hogle Zoo, Oktoberfest, and Gardner Village.

lots of pictures.....

Hogle Zoo

Abigail LOVES dinosaurs. She actually thought these were real until we explained it to her.

Giving the Rhino some loves...

The cutest Giraffes ever!

Oktoberfest

My brother Jimmy and his daughter Camille on top of Snowbird.

Abigail and her butterfly face!

While I am taking a picture of him he is taking one of himself!

The Alpenhorn's. Beautiful music and even better on top of the mountain.

"The Man"

Gardner Village

We have been so busy this summer. With Don losing his job, me going full time, and everything in between we still managed to have fun!

Tracy Arm

2011-08-06T09:01:00.000-07:00

Tracy Arm was the most beautiful place I have ever seen. Absolutely breathtaking.

I can not wait to go back.

Juneau

2011-08-01T19:42:00.000-07:00

Juneau

As the rest of Alaska was magnificent! We spent the every minute as possible off the boat.

Abby had to pose by all the bears in town....

This was in the Red Dog Saloon.

*****************************************************************************************

If you know me you know how terrified I am of planes. We'll we decided to go on a float plane and fly over five glaciers and then go to Taku Lodge and have a Salmon Bake. Most everyone was pretty excited to go on the plane. A few of us were probably (I know I was) about ready to be sick. I felt very brave and got onto the plane, strapped Abigail into her seat then did the same for myself. Jim (my brother) got to sit up with the pilot. He was ecstatic about this!

As the plane started I got a little more nervous (OK scared out of my mind) As it took off I thought hey not to bad. Well I fought back for 45 minutes to not loose everything I had ate for breakfast. Abby was really excited and was not phased at all! On the way back she actually fell asleep for most of the ride. I can not explain how terrified and in awe I was. It was the MOST beautiful plane ride I have ever been on. These pictures do not do it justice.

These are the Glaciers....

They all may look pretty excited but I know two of them were freaking out right along with me...

Taku Lodge

Notice the Bear warning......

What a view!

Abigail, Don and I went for a walk on one of the trails. As we were walking Don was telling me he thought it was funny that I was so scared of walking around in Yellowstone because of the bears and here we were walking unarmed, with Abby, and by ourselves in Alaska. As he was saying this a BIG black blur ran through the forest ahead of us. I told him I think I just seen a bear so we decided it was probably best to head back to the lodge.

Here is what was waiting back at the lodge!

They have to clean everything in the grill so the bears don't get a free meal. They still get in it and sniff around though.

Taking a nap.

This was our most favorite excursion. When we get to go back to Alaska we will defiantly visit Taku Lodge again. It was absolutely breathtaking. Don and I did not want to get back on the float plane.

Skagway

2011-07-27T21:38:00.000-07:00

We got to spend the 4th of July in Skagway. They had a huge celebration and when we were sailing away we got to watch fireworks going off on the beach.

We took a train ride through the White pass into Canada.

All Aboard...

And Abby fell right to sleep.

Going through the Canadian border.

Gold Rush Cemetery

Reid Fall

Abigail as precious as ever

I left a piece of my heart at Reids Fall

This was a small Island that had a large lighthouse and a small home on it. I think I could live there for a bit.

Skagway was beautiful. I will defiantly come back here especially to visit Reids Fall.

Canada

2011-07-25T20:41:00.000-07:00

Oh Canada....

The day we got to Canada it was so windy that the caption could not pull up and port for a while. So we all sat around until the water calmed enough to do so. Canada was beautiful. I would love to go back and have more time to sight see. We decided that since we parted late we would just walk around town instead of doing an activity that day.

Abby wanted to go on a ride really bad. The rides were about 15 minutes long for $75....

Everything was really beautiful and very well maintained. I would have loved to go to the gardens.

Cousins...

Ketchikan

2011-07-21T20:10:00.000-07:00

I am in love....

I could try to but I can not put into words the feeling I got when I walked outside and seen the mountains of Alaska. I was flooded by emotions. Most of all I had a ache in my heart that felt so deep. I had a few moments of trying to keep the tears from falling. This was it.... we are here. How I longed for my dad to be there with us more then ever.

One thing I have realized is that pictures do not due justice.

Ketchikan was beautiful. It was foggy most of the day, rained, was cold, and did I already say beautiful?

We went on a sight seeing tour. It was not as great as I thought it would be but hey we got to see more of Ketchikan on this tour then we would have seen walking around.

We went to a Salmon hatchery, Totem Heritage Center, and seen a lot of Bald Eagles while on a tour to see wildlife. We didn't get to view any bears or whales but it was still exciting to watch all the eagles. After the tour we did some shopping and had some fresh salmon tacos at a local pub. Delicious.

At the end of the day we were very exhausted but very anxious for the next port.

California

2011-07-15T16:03:00.000-07:00

We went to San Fransisco for 5 days. We were very busy, going, going, and going. We stayed at Fisherman's Wharf. We went to Pier 35, The Aquarium of the Bay, Golden Gate Bridge, Muir Woods, Ghirardelli Square, rode the trolley, went to China Town, Sausalito, and walked the streets aimlessly.... What a very exhausting 5 days it was. The weather was cold, rainy, and windy pretty much every day we were there. I had packed swimsuits, shorts, and the normal summer necessity's. They were not needed! Luckily we were prepared!

Alcatraz

Ghirardelli Square.....

sooooo yummy, plus we got chased by a 60 year old bum... This place rocked and had the best chocolate and coffee.

Aquarium Of The Bay.

This place is awesome. They have two huge tunnels you walk through. Abigail was screaming look, look, look, over and over.

Muir Woods

BEAUTIFUL

Sausalito

Cute town. We didn't do much here but sit by this fountain and walk to get in line for the ferry boat to take us back to San Fransisco. Everything was VERY expensive here... BUT i can say we've been there!

China Town

This place was really different then I had expected. The people were not very nice, it smelled a little, and there was no place to use the restroom at all. It was just like walking into a different country. I am happy we went to say we had gone but i don't think I care to go again.

Trolley

Way cool ride! (kinda scary too!)

And then The Golden Gate Bridge.

Pretty Amazing.

missing you

2011-06-18T23:43:00.000-07:00

Happy Father's Day Dad.

I have so much I want to talk to you about. They say you feel better with time, as of now I can't believe that. Each day goes on and each day my heart is full of sorrow. It is harder then anything imaginable.

I am so lucky to have had the six years you lived with us. That time had brought us closer. I wouldn't trade that time for anything. Like I told you many times you are like a big teddy bear with an attitude! I miss the stories, I miss you bossing us around, I miss you. period.

The days I struggle the most with are the days I just cant get the last month out of my mind. Them days I find myself uncontrollably crying on my way to work, in the bathroom, and the tears just come and I can't stop them. I feel I will never be OK with what happened and how it happened. One day I hope to accept what is.... as it is. We can't change it but I would if I could. I feel you close often. Sometimes I smell you in a room. I know you are here watching over us. And probably pretending to smack us in the back of the head for doing something our way and not yours.

I didn't think I would be celebrating this day without you for a long time. You were to young to go. I am lost without you. You are a great dad. You are a great PaPa to Abigail.

Adventures..

2011-06-15T21:18:00.000-07:00

So I have been slacking some on updating the blog....

We have been extremly busy at our house. I started back to work full time and it is a good thing because we will have more money and health insurance BUT it has also been a HUGE adjustment. Not only for Abigail but for me also. I never wanted to be a mom that had to work. I know in the real world most mom's have to work I always just hoped we would survive enough for me to be one of those lucky mom's. I do consider myself lucky enough to be able to stay home her first year and a half and the other year and a half to only have to work a few days a week. Life goes on.....

She is really enjoying her school though and has made many friends. So that is a plus!

Anyways..... A few weeks ago we stayed in Park City for the weekend and Abiagil enjoyed having her friend Cole spend the night and going to ride Thomas The Train in Heber. Very fun but definatly not worth the $18 per ticket for a 25 minute ride! Here a a few pictures of her weekend adventure.

It snowed twice while we were there and we got to see Deer.

They were watching "UP" cuddling on the couch.

These two are so cute together. They shared a blanket and even held hands while wating the movie.

***THOMAS THE TRAIN***

Just cuz...

2011-06-15T21:05:00.000-07:00

BIG Helper!

Our five newest editions have grown up so pretty!

Miss Sassy standing watch over her flock...

Abigail's "3" pictures.

2011-05-13T23:05:00.000-07:00

I had such a wonderful idea to take Abby to get some pictures for her 3rd birthday. She was going to wear a tutu and have some cute curls.....but as it always is time had gotten away from us so we decided to participate when her school had a photographer come in. Now Abigail NEVER poses for us and her smiles are usually silly ones and her eyes are almost always closed. We were excited to see these.....

This one is my favorite.

This one is the greatest. She always smiles like this when she is mimicking you telling her to smile. So freakin cute!!

Our little manicurest

2011-04-30T19:39:00.000-07:00

Now are these handsome toenails or what? Abigail decided that dad needed a pedicure. And being the greatest dad in the world he is he let her.

What a good dad!

HaPpY EaStEr

2011-04-24T13:13:00.000-07:00

HaPpY EaStEr!

We have had a wonderful holiday. We got to spend time with our family's and each other. Easter eve we colored eggs after our Easter feast of roasted turkey, mashed potato's, yams, green bean casserole, and blueberry pie. We decided that our Easter tradition would be to wake up and cook Aebleskiver's. We got a great recipe from our wonderful neighbor's and we very much enjoyed them. So here are some pictures.

Egg Coloring with Dad, Becky, Jayson, and Grandma.

Oh wow the Easter Bunny came.

Looking for eggs... She woke up with only one sock. The other was eaten by the sheets.

Dad found his Easter basket!! And Yes he is very excited.

His motorcycle jacket. He looks sexy and people will see him and he looks sexy.

(the skulls are reflective)

Abby wanted to try it on.

And breakfast... I have never tasted syrup so good in my life...

After we cleaned up we went for a nice walk on the Riverfront.

m&m crazies....

2011-04-24T07:27:00.000-07:00

Abigail LOVES M&M's.

This is what she looks like after eating them.

We told her she is a little candy monster.

The Birthday Project

2011-04-21T20:54:00.000-07:00

The first Day... Just some boxes.

Don is such a great dad! He started this on March 25th and finished April 17th. We both had no idea this was going to be such a BIG project.He spent most of this month working on Abigail's birthday present. When it was done I know he was just as happy as Abby was!!

Smith Easter party

2011-04-21T16:55:00.000-07:00

Saturday we had the Smith's over and had a Easter egg hunt with all the kids.

Abigail had so much fun with her cousins.

Even Ruger had fun...

Abigail's Birhtday Bash

2011-04-07T08:59:00.000-07:00

We decided to have her birthday party at Wheeler Farm again this year. It is fun, not to much clean up, and she loves going there. BUT it is a lot of work to get everything put together and have everything ready at the right time. I told Abby that this is her last birthday and asked her if she would just stay 3, she agreed...

Here a some pictures. We mostly filmed it so I only got a few of the actual party.

Abby and Cole chasing the geese.

Aunt Becky sitting pretty...

Abigail waiting for a kiss from Cole.

Isaiah, Cole, and Abby finding worms.

Don and his Momma

Sven and Isaac

Abby getting a love from the baby cow.

Zeller/Finch Family

I love this picture!

Sometimes

2011-04-07T08:07:00.000-07:00

I am finding myself feeling sad lately. I have a lot of mixed emotions about a few things going on or things that have already gone on. Mostly it is all out of my control anyway so I should not let it bother me and just forget about it. BUT I CAN NOT.. It is just who I am. I try to be a good person. To be there for my siblings. I try to be a good friend. But I can only bend over backwards so far before I fall on my ass.

Fun with chickens.

2011-03-31T16:25:00.000-07:00

Abigail spent some time Sunday at least 2 hours watching the chickens. She was very interested in what they were eating and wanted to watch then eat bugs and worms.

We thought this was the cutest..... I guess we need to do some clothes shopping...
Or get her interested in plumbing!!

They were kicking dirt her way and she thought it was the greatest. She would giggle and then tell on them.

These days she likes to tell on everyone and everything.

Looking out the window in her partially completed play set.

Look who is 3

2011-03-30T08:20:00.000-07:00

HaPpY BiRtHdAy AbIgAiL!!!

Time has gone by fast. We can not believe you are already 3!

Just yesterday you were learning to sit up on your own.

You are very independent, smart, stubborn (just like BOTH your parents), happy, and caring.

You love to cuddle in moms bed.

You love to play, you ask everyday to play with your cousins and friends.

You like to sneak into our bed every night and then in the morning let us know you were being sneaky.

Your Ruger is your best friend and you let everyone know.
We even ask if we can be your best friend and you tell us no It's Ruger.

You like to play tea party.
You love to play in water...no matter where that water is.

You love Popsicles, you even ask for one as soon as you wake up.

You are in love with anything Christmas.

For two months you would wake up and tell us Santa is coming to town today, then at dinner you would tell us that you love Christmas Eve.
You LOVE working on writing letters and numbers.

Your favorite food's are.
Mac and Cheese
apples and peanut butter
spaghetti
Chic-Fil-A
eggs and ketchup
sausage
and you love peanut butter and honey.

Your name is very important and means a lot to all of us.
Abigail was the name of your Papa's grandmother. She was from Hawaii.
Ivy was the name of your Papa's mother, she was the most amazing woman I have ever met.
And you were born on your Grandma's Judy's mom's birthday. Her name was Lois Graham.

Today we celebrated your birthday by having a fun day with mom and going to your favorite place
Chic-Fil-A for lunch. We snuggled and when dad got home from work we headed to Thanksgiving Point. You are in love with Dinosaurs right now so we went to the Dinosaur Museum.

We had a fun night!
I love you my baby girl!

Our new chicks

2011-03-25T15:06:00.000-07:00

I decided we needed to add a few more chicks to our flock. These are such cuties. We will only be able to keep two so three of them will need to find new homes in about a month. Any takers? There will be two Blue Wheaten Americana's and one Silver Laced Wyndotte available.... Come on you know you want them. Besides I will be doing the hard part.

Out with the old...In with the new.

2011-03-25T09:32:00.000-07:00

We moved into our home about 6-7 years ago. We finished the basement, landscaped, remodeled some areas, and so on. BUT for some reason we never got around to fixing our 6 old windows. Last winter one broke all the way down and being the rednecks we are we taped it! Finally ordered new windows in February and after patiently waiting they are in! I can not believe how much sun light we were missing.

BEFORE

Bad picture but bad window. Don't know if you can see this well but this window is taped all the way down.

AFTER

This is the cracked taped one...now fixed and we can see out of it.

Bathroom window.

It may be weird to be this excited over windows but we are weird people!!!

B is for boooogies......

2011-03-12T12:32:00.000-08:00

I am so done with the ~~zombie~~ virus or whatever the crap I have been suffering with since the 3rd!!

My right ear has no hearing, my sinuses are on complete overload I never imagined my body could make this much (TMI?) boogies, I feel like I have a tumor growing in my throat, my stomach is upset and bloated, the flavor of everything is the same (NO FLAVOR), and I have the worst taste in my mouth and it wont go away no matter how many times I gargle with every concoction on the Internet!

BUT

I will report that I have no more fever, body aches, and I can actually swallow.

Which means I can eat, drink, and talk without being in pain.

BUT

Come on! Enough Is Enough!

I feel much better now.

to heal is not to let go....

2011-03-11T16:19:00.000-08:00

I have to admit I struggle each day coming to terms with my dad's death. It was so not his time to go, not fair, and the worst for me to accept is the way it happened.

I will always remember that day.

I didn't get to say goodbye. Didn't get to tell him it was ok, he was loved, didn't get to sit by his side and just be there for him. He died by himself with no one there to comfort him.

I have to believe his parents were there comforting him and helping him thru. They are the two most amazing people I have ever known. They had to be there. I find comfort in that.

I seen him on Thanksgiving and I didn't even give him a hug for fear I would lose it then and there. I few weeks before he passed I had yelled at him on the phone asking him if this is what he wanted is to die and leave us and not want to watch Abigail grow up. He got mad and in his way told me to shut the hell up. If you knew my dad It is normal for him to talk to you like that. Doesn't mean he is mad it is just him. I seen the pain in his eyes, the fear, at times tears, he had to have known, he had to have felt it.

As the time has passed I really expected to heal not fully but a little, not forget, not let go, but to feel at peace with what had happened. To be able to accept the fact that I can not change this. I have no control. I find myself dreaming of going and seeing John Edwards. I have even mapped out the trip on the computer several times.
Do I fully believe in that stuff?
Maybe... I don't know...
Anything for a last chance to hear his thoughts, sense of humor, to know he is alright.

I do believe he has been here looking after us making sure we are alright.
In fact Abigail said he told her he went to the Zoo.
Just like my dad...

I have some of his things downstairs tucked into a corner of the room. Don said it is time to go threw it.
It might help. But me I am just not so sure.

A few nights ago while putting Abigail to bed Don told me of an incident that had happened right after my dad had passed. Don said he was putting her in bed and leaning over her when her balloon that was in the doorway started slowly falling from the ceiling then literally went right to them at their level and just hung out.
Me I believe that was him. he was checking on us, on Abigail.
Yes things like that happen but the way it happened is just magical. So as he is telling me this I'm upset that he never shared this before but he said he didn't want to upset me anymore then I already was.

So as I sat there and cried because it made me happy to know he was here if even for a moment.

I won't forget about you...

2011-03-10T09:23:00.000-08:00

If you know me you know I absolutely LOVE coffee! Always have. I like it as dark and syrupy as I can get it. If it has grounds in it its even better. I treasure it! Whether it is a plain cup of Joe, an almond latte, mint mocha, and one of my favorites is a white mocha with and extra shot and almond. I could drink the stuff all day. But since I have been sick and also had been suffering from severe pain from and ulcer I had temporally *tried* to give it up. It has been hard and like I said I have TRIED...

But now I have to say I am also in love with tea. All kinds really. I like to get it as hot as possible and put a little raw honey in it. I have really enjoyed the Ttraditional Mmedicines brand and Yogi. I wont forget about you coffee BUT It may be a lot easier now to turn you down.

Yes I am bored enough to blog about tea and coffee.... This happens when you actually get time for yourself and still have no idea what to do with it!!

sick of being sick...

2011-03-08T08:56:00.000-08:00

Day #6 and this is how I feel....

Since they have now put me on steroids....maybe... this is what i will look like by next week!

I hope not... for one I am not a man and for two this is just WRONG!!

Taken over.

2011-03-03T08:32:00.000-08:00

My body has been taken over by germs..........

THANK YOU

To who ever passed these guys to me.

I am enjoying my stuffy nose

headache

sore throat

fever.

our eventful week\weekend

2011-02-27T17:02:00.000-08:00

Abigail and I started off this week by going to the Children's Discovery at Gateway Mall. We got up early ate a fast breakfast, then headed off to the Trax station. I had promised her we would ride the train. We had a great ride there it just took a little longer then I remembered. We went with two of my friends and their kids Cole and Isaiah. They all had a great time considering the place was packed! We then headed to lunch where Abigail and Cole and Isaiah ate, played tag, and got ice cream all over each other and everything.

Abigail and I had a scary time getting home because I first put us on the wrong trax train and we had to sit with a bunch of weirdo's for the longest time, then when we finally arrived to our drop off we were approached by some other weirdo wanting to give me his candy and go home with us. I of course declined and hurriedly went towards our vehicle as he then ran after us on the trax line to give Abby a hat. It was and adventure alright!!

She also spent a lot of time in time out!!! I'm kidding.....she likes to play with her best friend in his kennel for some reason. She asked for me to take this picture!

Saturday we had a fun time with our family for dinner. Don and I made tacos and Abigail and her cuzzies ran around, screamed with joy, and made messes. I am sorry to say i forgot I had a camera and didn't take any pictures. Aunt Sara did so we will have to upload it later...

Sunday we got up (even though mom and dad wanted to do nothing but sleep) got ready and headed to the Living Planet Aquarium. Abigail had a great time and loved loved the stingray's. She was very uneasy at first but then all she wanted was to touch them. She enjoyed watching all the fish and kept asking to see the dolphins. Unfortunately there are none there.

These.....I forgot what they are called gave Abigail the jeebies over and over again.....

I have decided next time I want a dog I will get a penguin instead!!

After we were done here we headed to the mall for lunch and Dad was going to take Abby on the train and the Carousal.

Abigail was upset because she picked to ride in this instead of on a horse. The nice lady stopped the ride halfway and let her change to a horse.

SPOILED

She was telling dad she wanted the horse.

If only you could see her BIG smile.

Now we will go to bed.

%^*@$^&%

2011-02-27T15:42:00.000-08:00

No pitty party for me.....

BUT

I am having a hard time right now dealing with things......

1. I really really miss my Dad. Time has not made it better or easier. There is not a moment that goes by that I am not thinking of him. I try not to cry, I hide the tears, and just I want to burst out and scream!!! For some reason mornings are hard for me especially when I am driving to work (because I am alone).....

I am angry. My heart aches. I want answers. I want my Dad back.

2. Don and I need to work on our communication skills...... BUT then again we all do at times! The stress gets deeper and bigger. But then again THIS IS WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT....changes, stress, difficult decisions... It would help if we had more (any) time to spend together. If work was not such a stress, we could get out of our routine and make a new one, and it would probably help if we had a nice hot bubbling hot tub to relax in each night. I just cant find a clean working one for free!!

3. Weight... I am struggling with weight issues. Between my thyroid, PCOS, not getting enough exercise, and of course not choosing the most healthiest foods I am just struggling. I get a new thyroid dose I feel great loose some weight then a few weeks later I feel like I'm about dead again... I go to bed and I say tomorrow is the day...I feel so good. Then i wake up and that feeling is replaced by one that is not as positive. I am in a terrible funk about this right now. Being a person who has been pretty much average weight my whole life this just sucks!!

I SHOULD NO BETTER...try harder. But damn it...it is a struggle.

I want to be able to see my daughter grow up

graduate

get married

be a grandma

I will fight. I will do better. I will be as healthy as I can.

4. Abagail is having some MAJOR mommy separation issues right now...This is hard for her to have to go through but just as hard for me to have to leave her. I have to work. Wish I didn't. But I do.

5. I want another baby. We have been "not preventing". Went to my OB and right now even thinking of having another is on hold.....Hopefully a temporary hold... If I come to him already pregnant he will help me and try to make sure I and the baby make it through. But he will not "help" us get there. He is sending me to a liver specialist to get his opinion, running his own tests, and I am going to work on #3 to see if it makes a difference. He was great and told us the problems we would most likely face with getting pregnant:

Diabetes

(I had gestational with Abby and it was scary...then was diagnosed when she was a year)

HELLP syndrome

ICP

Liver failure

premature birth

preeclamsia

(I was put on bed rest with Abby @ 6 months due to high blood pressure)

and last but not least death for me and\or baby

So as I see it right now being pregnant can not be an option.....

THOUGH

I'm working on what is in my power to change... We will see where this takes us.

And if the answer stays at a no ???

Maybe just maybe.....

I will be patient. I have no choice.

I do have to be honest and say I am happy (NOW) I did not make this appointment to see him because I was pregnant. Abagail IS everything I have and I will not jeopardize me not being in her future.

6. Money.... I want more. No it wont make me happy but It sure would help.

The good news is Abigail is now on good health insurance so she will be getting her precious little bitty toes fixed soon.

Don and I are breathing a little bit easier with being able to pay a lot of our bills off. We still are not out of the woods but at least we are getting closer.

I have realized (I already knew it is just clearer to me) that my family is everything. They are all I need to make it in this life. They may at times drive me crazy and may not think that I am as important as I think they are to me but I love them and need them in my life.

Yes I still want to send Ruger to "the farm"....but....he is s-l-o-w-l-y getting more manageable.

Plus he is now Abigail's best friend...so scratch "the farm" idea anyway.

our ALASKA trip is getting closer and closer!

*I feel better now*

TROUBLE

2011-02-26T04:27:00.000-08:00

Abigail is growing sooo big super fast!! She changes so fast, is growing so tall, and is learning everything!! She is starting to blurt out funny sayings, sing little songs, and want to know what everything and nothing is.

I LOVE IT!

She started wearing her big girl panties on February 8th and is so happy to have them. She tells me at least once a day she hates diapers!! I tell her mom does too! So since them she has to put her underwear on herself. She will tell you lemmedoit really fast about 4 times...Her underwear usually is inside out and on backwards but she is learning. She is now wanting to put her own clothes on and the other day she came out of her room so proud that she dressed herself!

Too cute!

Since she is always in the bathroom we are also running out of hand soap really fast. She has always been fascinated with water. Lately we have found her playing in the toilet, filling the sink up with soapy water, and also she came out the other night handing us a bath toy and stated "here i peed in it".... TROUBLE!!

I always joked with Don that I could not wait until she put her PB&J in the VCR.....But now I don't think it would be as funny.

Last night Dad came home from work to find the toilet in the bathroom that she uses clogged. He asked what happened and of course i did not know. After asking Abigail a few times she told him she put a fish in there. We do not have fish...not even toy fish so I just shrugged it off. After coming home from dinner he went in there and plunged it only to find this.....

Looks like a fish. So we both talked to Abby about what is ok to flush and what is not. She just shook her head and nodded a few times them bolted to our room. Little turkey!! I just reminded Dad that at least it was not a remote or cell phone.......

Our piano

2011-02-18T14:31:00.000-08:00

So Don and I decided we would purchase a piano.We both love*love*love piano music. So we are hoping Abigail will also not only love piano music but also want to learn and like to play. Don also wants to start taking lesson's since he did not pay much attention in his younger years and gave it up to be a sexy drummer boy! I would also love to learn BUT I know my brain can only soak up so much and it already seems to be on overload these days.

It was fun to go and look at different pianos. We no NOTHING about them so we really didnt have a clue as to what brand and all but I think we made a great decision. We ended up with a beautiful Weber piano. The peoplewe bought it from are going through a divorce and so they also threw in this...... I forgot what this is called.......

and these three boxes of music books. He also told us that if Don was serious and did learn all this music and he proved it to him he would give us all our money back! So get to work Don!!

There is every kind of music you could think of in these!

And Abby is already practicing with her Grandma.

Dad's helper

2011-02-13T14:37:00.000-08:00

Abigail LOVES to cook, mix, and make all kinds on concoctions. Her favorite is making eggs, casseroles, and stuff that no one dares to taste. I try to have her help make a whole meal once a week. I really enjoy cooking so i hope I can pass that down to her. She also LOVES doing everything her dad is doing. Fixing this, fixing that, painting, learning new skills.

Making Root beer with Dad...

Oh no I dropped the spoon!!

Dad teaching Abby how to play the guitar...

(no she is not naked...she is in the middle of being potty trained)

And since Abby loves to color and paint all over the walls Dad is reinforcing this by teaching her how to do some minor home repairs involving painting...

She thinks when we say to smile it means to close your eyes and tilt your head back... funny kiddo. I am sure in a few weeks we will catch her *fixing* her walls in her room.

Silkies are never what they seem.

2011-02-12T08:40:00.000-08:00

Well I am sad to report that our Peaches seen below (she is the buff silkie) is no longer Peaches. She is now Mr. Hamburger head. Yeah that's right! Our third attempt to raise a hen silkie is over and we will have to try number four. A few days ago Don heard some crowing coming from our yard and Peaches is our only hen that had not started laying yet. She used to be small and cute with no attitude. I did notice some changes in *her* slowly but I must have been in denial. Our first attempt will never be forgotten. His name was Moon he ended up being named whitey (and a short time later...roasted whitey)and chased me around the backyard pecking me until my foot bled. He was possessed and hated me for some reason. Maybe we will not try a silkie again....

Now he is huge and has a I'm in charge here way about him..... This is what Mr. Hamburger head looks like except ours has what looks like at least a half pound of burger growing on top his head!!

He spent a few short hours on KSL.com and now has a new home.

Goodbye Mr. Hamburger Head and good luck with your new ladies!

2011-02-12T04:24:00.000-08:00

It seems to me that time is going by way to fast right now. One day runs to the next. Wake up, go to work, work, come home, eat, clean, go to bed. I am thankful that I only have to work part time. The two days I get with Abby all by myself keep me going. She is growing way too fast!

*We live very close to a LDS temple. So we drive by often. Abigail thinks it is a castle. So each time we are even getting close to it she starts screaming there it is there is the castle. A few weeks ago she starts screaming look at the freakin castle over and over and over. Don and I froze because freaking did not sound like freakin. At that point we realized she was saying freaking we started breathing some. We told her it was Jesus castle. So now she screams look mom Jesus castle! A few times she has said I want to go to Jesus. So precious.

*Since my dad has passed away Abigail is 100% sure he is at the Zoo. If you knew my dad you would think (because we do) that he had to have told her that's where he is. She has been to the zoo but I don't think she really knows what the Zoo is. Don and I have talked to her about this and she told up Papa told her he was there. In the past few weeks I have talked with her about this because she seems to be mentioning him while we are driving somewhere. She ask if we are going to get Papa. I have explained that Papa got sick and is with Jesus. So now she lets me know that Papa is at the zoo with Jesus.

* Ruger has become her best Ruger in the world. He is not her friend he is her Ruger. She loves that dog so much that I have to try really hard now to not think about sending him to the farm.

* She is into everything all the time. When you think you have your house child safe....think again. She can find markers a mile away. We have the walls to prove it. Yeah it sucks to have crayon, marker, and high lighter pictures all over but they are cute.

She is my little bebop..

Abigail & Ruger's night of fun.

2011-01-04T10:42:00.000-08:00

This is what happens when you buy your toddler markers...yes they are not washable markers.....you leave her unattended for 15 minutes why you and your spouse have a talk in the next room. If you knew her pup Ruger you would agree with us that this was half his idea.

Gotta love it. Yes we laughed. She said she would not do this again. Dad took her markers away for life anyway.....

Holiday's

2011-01-01T04:25:00.000-08:00

This year the holiday's in our home went a little different. I usually cook Thanksgiving dinner for my whole family and then some. We only cooked for us, my sister, and her fiance's parents and grandmother. It went well but we defiantly felt like we were not all there. Abby had a great day and enjoyed all the attention. We went to a family dinner a few days after and Abby had fun with her cousins.

We prepared for Christmas even though we did not want it to come. If it was not for Abigail I would have crawled in bed and would probably still be there.

Christmas morning was full of excitement and was a little over whelming for Abigail she really got into opening her presents and was happy about each and every one. We spent the afternoon at Don's parents. Then the night at my sisters home for a great Chili Verde dinner. I made re fried beans from scratch, they were delicious.

Ruger even got a few presents even though we all knew he should have gotten some coal........

Abby got some really really really cute cowgirl boots.. Thank you Aunt Jessie!!

These last four weeks in our home have been difficult. Abigail has been acting out we are sure it is because of all our emotions running high, I have been like a roller coaster, Don has had even more on his shoulders. We have shared tears, laughter, hugs, cuddles, and grief. We have made it through this year..... and we will make it through this next year. We have it all because we have each other. We have our families our friends. We have EACH OTHER. We made it through the HOLIDAY'S! And that is something to be proud of.

how

2010-12-23T08:43:00.000-08:00

How......

how have I made it through 23 days?

how did I make it through your Birthday?

how will I make it through Christmas without you?

this is our first year in 5 that you will not be here to celebrate in the morning. You loved watching Abby.....I had to still buy you gifts but instead of them fitting you they are

going to a 5 year old boy named Jacob.

I need you here......We all need you here. I can't look through your stuff I have but each day I smell your shirt just to keep you closer....

I miss you

How I would give anything to have been able to say goodbye, I wish I could have been with you, comforted you, held your hand. You didn't have to be alone.

How I want one more hug....one more smile....one more....

2010-12-16T21:52:00.000-08:00

Memories of my Dad written by Don

The first day I met Bill I had gone to his house to pick up Rhonie. Smoke poured out of the kitchen door as two extremely excited dogs named Reebok and Lucky came running up to check out the stranger… I remember the way he sat there at his kitchen table with his shirt off, and cigarette burning, I remember the way his diamond stud earring looked against his almost sunburned skin. But on that first meeting, the detail I will always remember the most was his eyes. I remember how he looked at me as I came walking through the door way as Rhonie introduced us. His eyes were green, and reminded me of Rhonies.

It didn’t take long to recognize he didn’t hold much back when he wanted to say something…He was bold, blunt, and you’d best just buck up around him, or you were liable to walk away with your feelers hurt. If he had something to say then he’d say it, and it was “matter of fact!” It didn’t matter who heard him either. I remember one time specifically: Rhonie and I were riding in the cab of his truck, and we had come to a stop at the first light we’d come to. Rhonie I think new what was coming, of course I had no idea. He rolled down his window, leans out a bit, and starts harassing the people in the car next to us! I couldn’t believe what I was seeing! I wanted to duck! To hide my head! Really! The funnier thing is I couldn’t even tell you what it was he had said! It was certainly no language I had ever heard before! It was the first time I had heard Bills very own language. It was extremely embarrassing yet… It was hilarious! He of course got the biggest kick out of it! Needless to say I began watching for what vehicles we might be stopping next to at the next light, and scoping out the passengers to see just what I might be in for!

I remember the day I had asked him to go fishing with me, with the intent of asking him for his daughters hand. My heart pounded that morning I picked him up, not sure of how this was going to go, or if I could even bring myself to ask him. I think he could sense how nervous I was, and after I had let several quite moments pass, which would have been the perfect opportunity, he began telling me stories about the old days of hunting and fishing, and getting into trouble. He had helped me to relax, and just enjoy the day… I never did ask him for his daughters hand, or for his blessing, but somehow it was O.K., but I believe he knew why I’d taken him up that day, and even though I wussed out, we’d had an unspoken understanding that day.

Some of my favorite things to do with Bill was to go shooting out in the desert, or to do the gun shows with him. Doing the gun shows with Bill was always fun. Even though the show itself might have been the most boring show ever, we would manage to rustle something up to laugh about. The slow times seemed to provide the most entertainment. We would sit back and watch the people walk by. It never took long for him to zero in on a new target to make wise cracks or jokes about. He would regularly show us just how brave he could be with his comments, which I must say… I honestly can’t believe he never got smacked or slugged! I was always waiting for the day that he’d go too far, but somehow he’d manage to get right to the edge and then back off just in time. There were times when I was never so embarrassed! And there were times when I had never laughed so hard! That is the Bill I will always remember, both of us laughing so hard our faces were purple!

Bill was a very neat and tidy kind of person. In fact I think in many ways he was a bit obsessive compulsive… or OCD as they say… He couldn’t let certain things be left unattended to, like dishes in the sink for example. He was the only one in my home who knew how to load a dishwasher! No one else had a brain in their head when it came to loading a dishwasher! Laundry had to fall on a certain day of the week, which Rhonie loved to foul him up on when ever she figured out what day laundry day would be, and it would just foul up his whole plans for the week of sitting at home doing nothing! All laundry had to be run through the rinse cycle twice, he cleaned his room on a specific day as well. He really was quite meticulous. He had to fold his towels a certain way, you had to rinse the “scaleebus” out of the sink just so many times, and out of the shower as well. One time in fact Rhonie went down to his room on laundry day and found him turning all his socks inside out to “DE-LINT” them with a pair of nail clippers before he would put them away!

We all have funny habits, I know I certainly have mine… but I must share one of Bills that ended up being some pretty priceless entertainment at our house. Bill was known for falling asleep in front of the “BOOB TUBE.” Whenever Bill would fall asleep in front of the television, we could always watch in amazement as how he stayed in that chair! At times it was unreal! He would be swaying back and forth, so severely at times that I wondered how it was possible! It was like his butt was glued to that chair! Sometimes he’d wake himself up just slightly, open his eyes, and quickly scan the room to see if anyone was watching him, and fall asleep again in an instant! There were a handful of times where that wonder glue that held his butt in that chair just wasn’t enough, and you heard evidence of the crash rumble through the entire house! Rhonie and I would run in to make sure he was o.k., and we’d find him sitting in his chair as though nothing had happened. When we’d start to laugh a little under our breath he’d give us the most sarcastic smile showing you all his teeth! The looks on his face were priceless! Those times ended quickly however once my basement was finished and Jayson and Becky gave him a recliner, his days of falling out of the chair were through! And I have to say it was definitely a good thing too! Abby used to love sneaking downstairs to see her Poppa, crawl up on his lap and watch T.V. with him, he’d turn the channel over to the animal planet or something and they’d both lay there in that recliner and poppa would gently tickle her arm. ( and load her up on candy!) Thanks poppa!

Bill was tough as they come, he had a rough edge to him that sometimes rubbed even the closest to him the wrong way… But let me fill you in on a well kept secret- he was as big a softy as anyone else! Often times if you got up early enough, you could catch him singing to the dogs, or catch him with a tear or two during a sad show, and even more than a tear or two in emotional movies involving animals such as “Hidalgo.” Let me tell you the first time he watched that show at our house he was a wreck! But we pretended not to notice. He had a great love for animals, why he even hated to see me give nanook a lecture in front of his latest hole in my flower beds. That love for animals is where Rhonie gets it, and I have to do my best at all times to keep the number of animals in my own home down to just below zoo status!

I have so many memories of Bill I could go on and on, but one stands out from the rest, and is one I’ll remember personally for the rest of my days. We were all together at a special family event, it was the end of dinner at a restaurant, every one had just left the table leaving the two of us alone as we signed our checks. He stood up and walked behind my chair, when I felt his hand on my shoulder, I instantly scooted in my chair so that he could pass- but he never lifted his hand… I sat staring forward wondering if he was about to say something… no words were ever spoken. He tapped my shoulder a couple times, then turned and walked away. I had known Bill long enough to know that while he had the ability to tell anybody anything at anytime, (appropriate or not), that he struggled when it came to expressing his other feelings and emotions. There was another unspoken understanding there, that I heard loud and clear. That was one of those moments in my life I will never forget.

I have seen the Bill Zeller that lay beneath the layers of thick hide that he wrapped himself in. Those layers were somehow part of who he was, but inside, beneath all that tuff stuff, he was quite a caring and loving man, who wanted to see his family do well, despite the severity with which he teased us all.

Bill Zeller has left his mark on me and my life, and I will never forget him!

Don and my dad had gotten very close with us living with him for a year and him living with us for almost 6. To hear him get up and read this at my Dad's service touched my heart. I have two very great men in my life.

Memories by me...

2010-12-15T23:50:00.000-08:00

My dad was a great man.

He could make you laugh in an instant, make you madder

then anything in the drop of a hat and then make you laugh some more.

He wanted everyone to think (and some of you still might) that he was tough as nails. And there was many times when I thought he was. Over the past 7 years I had gotten to know my dad even more though I new him all my life. My dad had a soft heart, he did care about everyone around him, but he just didn’t want anyone to know. I have 33 years of great memories of my dad. I would just like to share a few.

My dad had a great sense of humor. I remember when I bought my first car and him telling me not to forget my blinker fluid and how he laughed when I came home and told him there was no such thing. I remember him teaching me how to fish and when we went fishing we were not aloud to breath for fear we were scaring all the fish, to shoot a rifle and how Jessie and I would go behind him and bury all the pot guts, how he told us to clean the ska-lee-bis out of the sinks.

I will always remember how he had a name for everyone he would meet, and many more people that just happened to cross his path where ever that may be. I enjoyed going with him to the gun shows for many reasons but I will always remember how much fun it was watching for the regulars that he had his names for. I enjoyed him telling people to keep their dirty hands off his guns even though he was selling them. He always thought they were ripping him off if they offered him even a penny less then what he was asking. Yet no one’s gun was worth even close to what they were asking. There stuff was garbage.

I remember his face when I brought Abby home, the tears in his eyes, he was so happy. When Don would get home from work he would matter of fact tell him I had hid her all day from him in my room, I remember watching him with Kaydon, he had so much pride for his little cowboy, how he cradled Ashton in his arms tight with a big smile, he had such a gleam in his eyes watching each dance recital and song Camille would sing in the living room, even a small smile when she would run up and smack him on the belly for sleeping at the table. And I remember when we all first met Erica. You are his first grandchild even though you came into our family when you were a little toddler he loved you with all his heart.

He will always be your Papa Bill.

I am going to miss you dad. I’m going to miss your fiery attitude, your jokes (even the ones I found not so funny), your smile, and those soft green eyes.

I love you dad……

My Dad....

2010-12-08T22:28:00.000-08:00

My life has changed. My heart is broken. My Dad passed away December 1, 2010. I am missing him more than I could have ever imagined.

This is a dream I am going to wake up any moment......

I tell myself this at least once every hour. I can not explain the emptiness in my chest. I think of him all day. What makes this all worse for me is that we will never know why....

I ask myself is that better to not know....NO it is not......

I worry all day that he suffered.

I will not go into detail about any of the days preceding his death. But I know he died by himself with know one there to comfort him. I know there was pain and sadness. All of his kids being so sick about what was going on but none of us could do anything to help. I am so saddened that my brother found him by himself with no one to be there by his side to comfort him. Don and I got there very quickly but still. My dad had lived with us for 5 years and had moved just this April because we were selling our home. I know how I felt when he had gotten severely sick once and I would sit by his door listening to him breath just so I could have peace. How I wish this was all a dream. My dad was more to me then just a "dad". I need him now more then ever. I have so many questions. I would give anything for one more hug, bad joke, a smile, even just to have one more minute.

Fun in the snow

2010-11-25T20:58:00.000-08:00

A few night ago we stayed up to watch Toy Story which is Abby's favorite. She has a woody doll that has started going pretty much everywhere with us. We let her stay up way to late but could not resist some fun in the snow.

What a cutie.....

You get all you see here....plus a really sweet ulcer....

2010-11-25T20:48:00.000-08:00

Don't get me wrong here I am thankful for many things. I am thankful for Don he is the BEST! I am thankful for Abigail. She is my dream come true. That i have a job, that Don still has a job, that we made the house payment this month, that we are for the most part healthy for the moment, that I have food in the cupboards, that I was able to claim a hardship to get my 401K out to pay medical bills, and that I have a wonderful family. BUT my life has turned upside down and inside out this past year. I sometimes find it hard to be thankful, to look at the bright side, to have faith that it will all work out. If you really know me you know I am for the most part a negative Nelly, I see more frowns then smiles. No I don't like to be like that.....I just am. It has got me through many broken dreams... Abigail has changed my life in every way and has helped me to see the smiles, the light at the end of the tunnel. These are the things I am not thankful for at the moment and they seem to be keeping me up at night and keeping me in a negative light.

Family is EVERYTHING. Your family is who you should be able to count on for anything and everything. We are the ones there for each other forever. That is how it should be. I want Abigail to know her family, be able to count on them, for them to count on her.
My brother has basically disowned us (meaning me and my two sisters) for being a 39 year old kid. He would not come celebrate this day with us, wont talk to us, and does not want us in his life anymore because we are on speaking terms with his ex wife whom he was married to for 15 years..... Why is it our fault that he can not get along with her. Honestly we don't talk to her or do anything with her. We see her and have small chit chat. Even if we were to go hang out who's business is it. She was in our family for a long time, help me through some serious events, gave birth to my niece.... I honestly hope that he grows up and pulls his head out before he truly regrets this. I can not imagine writing off anyone in my family. I guess we all have differences and some of us do not think family is important. I LOVE HIM and will do anything for him. And if tomorrow he needs me I will be there before he even blinks...

I am sure it is not all OK to write about this but I will just a bit. Don's work is going through trouble not just troubles BIG troubles. To see him deal with what he is dealing with on a daily basis is killing me. I can not help and I no he is struggling too. Like I said I wont go into detail for fear that I WILL type to much here. I want to help more then just being there....and I can't. So the stress goes on....

Since our home has not sold in the year it has been on the market Don and I are trying to refinance.... Well the rude, rude, inconsiderate, rude, lady at Outsource Recievables that put a $200 bill on our credit just might have ruined it..... I want to seriously kick her where the sun don't shine. And when I call and explain that we did not know we even owed this, had never gotten a bill, and had already paid it off within the first 20 days they had it she said "Well this is not my problem it is yours and you will have to deal with it for the next 7 to 10 years" Well all I have to say is enjoy your turkey B...... Seriously????? Come on it took our credit down 50 points!!!!

As of December 1st we no longer will have health insurance due to the fact that we just can not afford it anymore and we are struggling so instead of paying each month and having it not cover anywhere near really helping us we have decided to cancel it. This is scary. I am not insurable due to having stage 2 liver disease and other health issues. Abigail needs surgery to fix her toes. But it is not worth a penny to have the current health insurance we have now. SO there you go.....

I want to make everyone happy. I want everyone to be happy. I want to win the lottery. I want to not care sometimes.

My Dad is very sick right now. He can die at any minute and he don't care. He has fallen, seems spacey at times, is swollen beyond normal, is struggling to breath, and looks extremely unhealthy. He refuses to go to the hospital even refused to go with the ambulance last night that someone called. They told him if he does not go he will die. His oxygen was at 70. But yet he don't care...or he is just to scared...or he really don't care that he is dying and we are suffering inside by watching him be so stubborn. It will take him away from us. I am not ready for this. Is he? I don't think so but I just don't know. He honestly looks dead. Does he see this? I am so confused right now. Is life not worth living? I have been down that dark road before and I know it all seem unbearable at times but to just suffer. There is no exclamation for this. I dread each morning as I wake up if I am going to get the call, I worry by 10 am if I can't get him on the phone that he is dead, then I worry all day that he has fallen, had a stroke, is lying in a coma, then I worry that he will die in his sleep each night. Somethings in life we will never understand and this is one of them. I love him and when I lose him he will take part of me with him.

So you see why being thankful this time of year is hard for me. I am being (trying) to be positive, trying to keep that smile on my face, trying to really be there for others.... But it is a struggle.

I really should not publish this post.....but I will.

Craft night.

2010-11-20T03:49:00.000-08:00

Abigail and I had a fun night making a turkey bread basket. She loves working with paper, glue, and well anything that looks like it could cause havoc on the house. After about an hour and a half we finally finished with Abby having about an inch of glue on each finger, extra feathers glued to the table cloth and her trying to hide with the scissors. Turned out pretty cute I think.

She was very proud of her turkey and sat by it for some time....even trying to get Ruger (a.k.a crazy dog)to pose by the turkey.

Nope that didn't work....we are lucky he has not eaten it.

He loves anything with feathers....

My cowgirl

2010-11-20T03:38:00.001-08:00

My loves.

2010-11-13T04:41:00.000-08:00

My two most favorite people in the whole wide world.

I LOVE YOU!!!!

Bluebell, Utah.

2010-10-29T22:28:00.000-07:00

Since we have the most AWESOME neighbors ever we got to tag along with them to Bluebell Utah! Never heard of the place? Well it is absolutely beautiful! (Don and I will be opening a meat shop there soon) Here are a few of the things we got to do......

Abigail got to ride in the back of the truck with NO seat belt and car seat.....

(and on momma's lap to the corn maze)

She got to drive her first truck!!

Abby and Dad riding Jake the horse...

Momma ridin Jake...

Abby and Brad riding Jake...

Abby with two of her most favorite people...

What a beautiful girl...

Riding the cow train...

Getting lost in the Corn Maze...

Megan watched Abby one night while we went through the haunted part....Aaahhhh It was good. The theme was Hillbilly Hell..

Dad blowing stuff up...

The Monsen's Pumpkin Patch..

Abigail and her pumpkin...

Cow's.. Abigail got to feed a baby cow at the corn maze with Brad. I never seen anything take down a bottle of milk so fast... We helped harvest their potatoes, I will be growing some next year that whole process just amazes me.

And the most gorgeous horse Remi...

We had so much fun and are very grateful for our wonderful neighbors for taking us. Their family does a corn maze, pumpkin patch, and a whole lotta fun stuff each October in Bluebell and it is definitely worth the drive.

Gardner Village with my boys.

2010-10-26T15:23:00.000-07:00

*Gardner Village*

Each October Abby and her two BFF's go to the witches festival @ Gardner Village. We had a great time sitting with the pumpkins, looking at all the Witches, getting Halloween treats and of course lunch @ Archibald's. The last year was a lot easier for us mom's since the kiddo's were a wee bit little. I think we all left with tired feet, tired kids, and I know I looked like and felt like I had been through a tornado!

Here are some pics of my little monster and her Friends.

Absolute Torture

2010-10-24T11:42:00.000-07:00

I don't know how long this movie actually is but every second of it was torture. Abigail liked it though. I just don't think Don and I can EVER sit through this agian!!

blah, blah, blah....

2010-10-09T06:47:00.000-07:00

My blahness has lingered longer then I have liked. I still feel buried up to my chin. I have no patience and this kills me. I quit my 3rd job. Yay!! I felt so much lighter. And it did last for a few days. I am tired, cranky, achy, and just plain tired.

Face that fire....walk right through it....

Kiss and Tell

2010-10-03T14:28:00.000-07:00

Abigail and her BFF Cole hanging out. Cole was trying to kiss Abby and she was having none of it. (this time)

All that and she wiped it off!

Dad then told her to go look for Tinkerbell......

No Luck!! Maybe next time...

Mommy's hard workers.

2010-10-03T14:06:00.000-07:00

Abigail and Daddy spent this morning doing yard work. They mowed, cut the chickens wings so they wont fly over the fence, and picked all the pumpkins.... What a hard day!

She was such a great helper,

These two ladies are our newest editions. (Ruger ate Soup for his dinner) A buff Silky named Peaches and a Partrigde Cochin named Roxy.

Cheeto...

And of course our Miss Sassy... Olive, Miss Bossy, and Ruby Lu were just to shy to pose for there pictures considering we had just chased them and cut their wings.

Abby's pumpkin plant grew these in our garden. We were excited to get six nice sized ones this year. And of course that we don't have to buy any.

She had to hug and kiss them.

Hogle Zoo

2010-10-02T04:45:00.000-07:00

Abigail was so excited to go to the zoo. Her favorite animal was the monkeys. I think she liked them so much because she is our little monkey!!

The baby elaphant was so stinkin cute.

The statues made her a little uneasy. After a few minutes of talking her into sitting with the gorilla she let us all know that the gorilla needed a shirt!

What a princess......

My BeBop..

2010-10-02T04:27:00.000-07:00

I love you...

Sometimes...

2010-09-25T05:13:00.000-07:00

Sometimes (like this week) I feel like I have fallen into a big black hole and can't climb out. There is so much to do, so much I want to do, never enough time, money, time, money..... I want to give up and just stay in bed and forget about it all.... BUT I can't and I won't. Sometimes it is good to make lists....

The bad

1. Having to work and leave Abby with a sitter.
** This makes me feel like a "bad" mom, guilty, lonely, sad..... Yes I can go on.
2. Having to work 7 days a week at 3 different jobs.
***Though it has been interesting.....
3. Not spending any quality time being a good wife or having nice family time.
*** I hope he remembers I Love Him.....
4. Letting the things go that I normally wouldn't.
*** throwing clean laundry on the bed, dirty on the floors, not making the bed, not dusting, vacuuming, and so on and so on...
5. That my house has been on the market for 1 year and no luck.
***This one going to the good list would solve so much.. So come people buy my house.
6. 2 vehicles that are due for taxes, emissions, and inspection
***Why do we all have to pay taxes every year? OK I know why but come on really!
7. 1 car that need some serious fixing before it falls apart while in motion.
8. Abby needing surgery and not being able to pay for it.
***Our insurance ROCKS....
9. Dr. Bill's and bill collectors
***seriously where do you want me to get more money from
10. Knowing you must take better care of yourself so you can watch your daughter grow but all the days run together and there is never enough of this and that...

The Good

Don and I just won the lottery! You now personally no people that are billionaires!!!! We are taking you all on a very long vacation.

HAHAHAHA

I have a wonderful husband, he is my soul mate. He puts up with my tantrums, works hard to bring home the bacon, and cuddles me each night. Abigail, my amazing, beautiful, funny, smart, girl! She makes my whole life brighter. I have a job (well 3). I meet people all the time that struggle to feed their family, pay their bills, and enjoy anything. I have a great family. The cutest nieces and nephews. A mother that is going to play with Abby three days a week so we can save on daycare.... You have no idea how much that is going to help! A funny puppy that lights up Abby's day by being her "crazy dog". Private Practice and Grey's Anatomy!!

It is so wrong that I can't think of more good..

Down with the SiCkNeSs

2010-09-19T16:50:00.000-07:00

What I brought home from the State Fair....

Yes I have the flu...It sucks big rotten apples....

FiShY FuN

2010-09-11T06:21:00.000-07:00

Where We Want To Be..........

We had a great time at Joe's. The time flew by way to fast! Abby was so cute when we had caught some fish Daddy said were going to eat them and she would scream at him "NO"! She kept petting them and talking to them Ruger about the Babies... What a cutie pie.

Ruger Loved running through the Spring.

We seen a lot of baby deer with their mommy's, Frogs, a Coyote, and some cool caterpillars...

And of course Daddy went bow hunting.

hmmmm...

2010-09-08T19:14:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I start work at the State Fair in Hi-Grades booth. I also started working a few weeks ago on Saturday and Sunday at Hi-Grade doing the security, and of course my regular job Tues, Wed, Thurs. So I will be working the next 13 days striaght (boo hoo) and six of those days I will leave at 730 am and not get home till about 11 that night. Don asked me for a honey do list and I told him I am not making one you know what to do. So here is his list...

(he made it himself)

I am thinking.... If only it could be that easy!

Does this make any sence??

How sweet can it be....

2010-09-06T15:25:00.000-07:00

Abigail and Ruger watching The Fox and the Hound.

Seriously can it get any sweeter...

My Family

2010-08-25T13:45:00.000-07:00

Today we have been married 12 years! I love you more each day. I couldnt imagine my life without you....you are my best friend (you know all my secrets) a loving husband...and a awesome Daddy to Abigail. I am lucky to have you in my life. You are my dream come true.

County Fair

2010-08-14T06:19:00.001-07:00

Abby went on her first ride.... She was not sure what to think the first few times around.

Then a smile.

The smiles just got BIGGER....

Always her favorite part.

(i had to post this funny pic)

She was not sure what she was to do.

This will be gone in about 12 hours. She will hit the dog with it he will bite it, then run off, and there you go.......gone.

Handsome

2010-08-14T06:08:00.000-07:00

Canyon Dance 2010

2010-08-14T05:44:00.001-07:00

Each year we get to go to a canyon dance. We have some much needed relaxing time, good food, and a fun dance.

Abby had a lot of time to practice her new bike riding skills.

Ruger watched Abby very intently and made sure she was safe.

Erica had a great time showing us her awesome moves!!!!

And Auntie Melanie was just dang cool!!!!

Cock-A-Doodle_Dinner!!

2010-08-14T05:17:00.000-07:00

We have (had) 8 Chicken's, all hen's and no roosters!!! Well that's what we were told. Here is Parlines and Cream or should I call him BBQ n onion? It was a sad day for him but he had started crowing and we are not allowed to have roosters. I absolutly love roosters so it was hard for me to say see you on the table.

Our hen's were either really happy because he had been chasing them around for day's or they thought they were next. (I like to think they were happy)

He was definitely happy. I think he thought this was his dinner!

The really sad part to this story is the next day I come home from work and find that my Black Astrolorp is also chasing the hen's. (happy to report no crowing yet)

Fun...Yummy Chocolate Fondue

2010-07-11T21:44:00.001-07:00

Blackberry's, blueberries, Necturines, apples, and banana's (my fav)

Yeah we are silly

Just lettuce

2010-07-11T21:38:00.000-07:00

So I grew up on meat and potatoes, lettuce, celery, spinach was just for the rabbits. Maybe that is why I am so short.

This lettuce is just plain beautiful.....

Another fun summer day...

2010-07-11T21:22:00.000-07:00

July 4th weekend....

2010-07-05T08:07:00.000-07:00

*****We had a great day. We went to Aunt Jessie's Saturday to watch the Magna parade and then have a BBQ. Abigail surprised us by being so good without having her nap. Sunday we had our dinner and celebrated the 4th of July. We watched fireworks and had yummy ice cream cones*****

Fun Day

2010-07-01T22:19:00.001-07:00

Best Freinds in the making!!

Yeah I am a silly princess.

Already trying to stay in the water.

Im starting to like pictures taken of me.

New family member

2010-07-01T22:08:00.000-07:00

How much is that doggie in the window?

Wuff.....Wuff....

The one with the waggily tail

Wuff....Wuff.....

Meet Ruger

My Daddy

2010-07-01T21:57:00.000-07:00

My daddy is the greatest;

The best dad there is;

He always bringsme lots of joy;

He's my very own Santa Claus.

My Daddy can do anything;

He's smart as smart can be;

I love to walk and hold his hand'

To show he belongs to me!

I LOVE YOU DADDY!!!!

momma n me making jam

2010-07-01T21:34:00.000-07:00

Abby loves to help in the kitchen. It has been fun for me to teach her how all those things in the kitchen work. We have only attempted making pudding, cookies, and jam together and she absolutly loves it!

MMMMmmmm Berries

Her favorite part!!!

Thomas the Train

2010-07-01T21:12:00.000-07:00

Dreaming

2010-07-01T20:51:00.001-07:00

Her first steps on the beach......She see's the ocean......She's a running! She was in awe!

She didn't care for the sea shells she just wanted rocks!

She has been asking since we came home to go to the beach. I think I want to go back too.

So for now we are Dreaming of California.

Disneyland

2010-07-01T15:56:00.000-07:00

..........ThE HaPpIeSt PlAcE on EaRtH..........

Mickey ~N~ Minnie

Woody and Buzz...

We shared lots of loves.....

Our Favorite ride was the Pooh ride. Abby went on this ride at least 4 times.

And of course we met.......

ToOn ToWn

Pony Ride...

2010-07-01T10:05:00.001-07:00

We have the best neighbors ever! Megan took us over to see her uncles new baby horse and Abigail got to go on a pony ride. She was so happy. She didnt want to stop.

Just some pics while visiting the Farms.

2010-04-28T21:33:00.001-07:00

Abigails FIRST haircut!!!!!!

2010-04-28T21:02:00.000-07:00

Abigail has had at least six hair appointments in the past few months. We have missed a few due to illness, dad thinking it's not time yet for a cut, and well we have been having fun. So I prepped her for a few days asking her if she wanted it cut and she would say "uh huh" or "oh yeah" so that when it was time she would be excited. She loved every minute of it and sat still, had a great red sucker, smiled, and watched Dora as she got her first hair cut.

Happy Birthday Abby!!!

2010-04-07T11:03:00.000-07:00

I can not believe my baby girl is two. She had a great time at her birthday party with her family and friends.

Family...Together We Have It All

Christmas

Joe's Valley 2011

Halloween

Summer fun

Tracy Arm

Juneau

Skagway

Canada

Ketchikan

California

missing you

Adventures..

Just cuz...

Abigail's "3" pictures.

Our little manicurest

HaPpY EaStEr

m&m crazies....

The Birthday Project

Smith Easter party

Abigail's Birhtday Bash

Sometimes

Fun with chickens.

Look who is 3

Our new chicks

Out with the old...In with the new.

B is for boooogies......

to heal is not to let go....

I won't forget about you...

sick of being sick...

Taken over.

our eventful week\weekend

%^*@$^&%

TROUBLE

Our piano

Dad's helper

Silkies are never what they seem.

Abigail & Ruger's night of fun.

Holiday's

how

Memories by me...

My Dad....

Fun in the snow

You get all you see here....plus a really sweet ulcer....

Craft night.

My cowgirl

My loves.

Bluebell, Utah.

Gardner Village with my boys.

Absolute Torture

blah, blah, blah....

Kiss and Tell

Mommy's hard workers.

Hogle Zoo

My BeBop..

Sometimes...

Down with the SiCkNeSs

*FiShY FuN*

hmmmm...

How sweet can it be....

*****My Family*****

County Fair

Handsome

Canyon Dance 2010

Cock-A-Doodle_Dinner!!

Fun...Yummy Chocolate Fondue

Just lettuce

Another fun summer day...

July 4th weekend....

Fun Day

New family member

My Daddy

momma n me making jam

Thomas the Train

Dreaming

Disneyland

Pony Ride...

Just some pics while visiting the Farms.

Abigails *FIRST* haircut!!!!!!

Happy Birthday Abby!!!

FiShY FuN

My Family

Abigails FIRST haircut!!!!!!